Genesis 40: 23 “The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him.”

Life is not fair. I accept that. I’ve told my children that “fair” is a concept used by Satan to steal our happiness. Listen to children play. When tears and fights break out, one of the most common things heard is, “That’s not fair.” One dictionary reads: Fair adj. free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice.

In the early years of his life Joseph had benefited from unfairness. Bias played in his favor. It was not fair that his father loved his mother most. It was not fair that he was treated with favoritism because of that love. It was not fair that he received a new coat and his brothers didn’t. Was it fair that God gave him dreams, and not his brothers? Nothing indicates that Joseph recognized that unfairness was benefiting him. His brothers surely did.

As a slave Joseph saw a lot of proof that life was not fair. Bias, dishonesty, and injustice had become an almost daily part of his life. He could have responded to this unfairness with despair. He did not. He remained faithful to God. He remained righteous in his relationships. He continued to get up each day and live his life and do his work. It was not fair that the cupbearer forgot him; however Joseph did not allow that unfairness to affect his happiness nor his faithfulness.

Sometimes in life we benefit from unfairness. Sometimes in life we suffer because of unfairness. If we let fairness define who we are, we are doomed. Unfairness in our favor can cause us to become arrogant and entitled. We can become self-righteous and uncompassionate. Unfairness against us can cause us to become bitter, angry and jealous. We can become character-disordered, blaming all our problems on unfairness. Caring too much about being treated fairly will ruin us.

When we walk with God our focus is not upon how we are treated. Our focus is turned outward. We focus upon treating others without bias, with integrity and justice. Life is unfair, we don’t have to be.