Acts 15:36-41

I am a black or white, right or wrong, thinker. It is hard for me to recognize the validity of opinions other than my own. People have accused me of always thinking I am right, and my response has been, “Of course I think I am right. If I thought I was wrong, I would change my thinking.” I am sure my being on the autism spectrum has made it harder for me to value other people’s opinions. However, over-confidence and arrogance is not limited to people who are autistic, it is a character trait shared by many.

After writing my first article on the dispute between Saul and Barnabas, I was still trying to decide which I believed was right. It never occurred to me that they could both be right until, late at night, something clicked. I wondered why God did not take sides in the conflict and then it became clear, it was because in their own way each was right.

Barnabas was right that Mark needed a second chance. When we mess up, we all want and need a chance to make it up and to do better. Mark made the most of a second chance, and later he and Paul reconciled. Colossians 4:10 tells us that 10 years later Mark was with Paul during his Roman imprisonment. In his second letter to Timothy (4:11) Paul asked that Mark be brought to him because he was helpful with Paul’s ministry.

At the same time Barnabas was right, Paul was also right. Paul knew that he would be facing opposition, and that opposition would endanger his life. He needed, for his own peace of mind, and the good of the mission, someone proven trustworthy. People deserve a second chance, but ideally, second chances do not come in life or death situations.

Here are some principals to deal with conflict. 1) Before seeking agreement, seek understanding. 2) Remember, being right does not always mean everyone else is wrong. 3) Even when right we still must be righteous.